Modern technology opens ways to introduce and connect people from distant parts of the world in a fast and efficient way. Just recently, my friend's French boy friend flew here in the Philippines to finally meet her for the first time. It was nice seeing them together but there have been problems. Take language, for example. Online, it's very easy to have their sentences translated by Google, but in person, it was like a different world altogether. One of them had to draw some things to make the other understand. Talk about gap.
But realistically, just because you both speak the same language does not mean you will always understand each other, like Erin (Drew Barrymore) and Garrett (Justin Long) in the rom-com film, Going the Distance. There are other huge things to consider to make it work:
1. Accept the distance. Being in a relationship is already a responsibility in itself. Both parties know that some things will get in their way and make things difficult. Adding the "miles factor" does not make things easier. Garrett and Erin knew that they have to shuttle back and from between New York and San Francisco to make their relationship work. They both knew it's physically and emotionally draining. But right off the beginning, whether they were ready for it or not, they accepted it and whatever came with it. That's where the relationship started. Acceptance.
2. Take only the time you can get. You are in a long distance relationship for a reason. His life is there; yours is here. There are valuable things you both can't let go of from both your places. Meaning, aside your relationship, there are other things that demand your separate attention. The things you're doing may be for your future together but you may have to do those individually. You will be given time, just don't expect too much.
3. Take turns. Just because you're the girl doesn't mean you have to wait for him to visit you. Save money, princess. Plan a trip to his place. Visit his family and friends. Get to know the environment he lives in. Not only will you make him happy, you'll also feel more connected to him. You'll be glad to realize just how much of "you" is inside his room. Plus, isn't it great to know what his favorite cafe looks like?
4. Put your faith in each other. Trust your partner wholly. It can never be just part of your trust. Give it entirely. You both need it. Also, tell each other everything. EVERYTHING.
5. What you feel, your partner feels. If you miss him, know that he misses you as well. If you want to celebrate her job promotion, know that she wants you to be in her party as well. Whatever it is that you're longing for, your partner longs for as well. It's never a one-way street. It's not only difficult for you.
6. Don't push things too far. You're already far. There's no need for that. Garrett and Erin broke up not because they no longer love each other. They split up because they couldn't push things too far just yet. Garrett cannot allow Erin to move to New York for him because she may feel happy at first, but when things start to disappoint her, she would start blaming Garrett or their relationship for it. She would calculate and say she sacrificed more to keep them together. It would end, but not in a good way. They decided to give their relationship its best chance. They had to let go for a while.
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