Hi. It's been a while.
Writing to you seemed like a good idea earlier while I was thinking about it as I was walking past that area where tricycle drivers camp to buy something to eat for lunch. But now that I am actually dong it, I'm not sure.
Anyway, I just really want to tell you a few things:
I get you now. I get why you chose love over friendship. I get why you had to let go of me, your best friend for countless years, just to have a shot at a girl. You chose to give your relationship its best chance. It just so happened that the process involved asking me to step out of your life. It's not entirely your fault. I get it now because I did a similar thing. I endangered the relationships I have with the people closest to my heart to give way for love. It's a risk but I get it now.
I apologize for not seeing it through your eyes. Perhaps I really needed to experience what you went through to understand. It must have hurt turning your back on your friends. It must have hurt as much as I am hurting now. It must have been very difficult for you. Probably almost as difficult as it is for me now. You reprogrammed your life just as I am reprogramming mine.
I haven't heard from you for more than a year but common friends told me you are quite well. How did you manage it? How did you handle the pain of losing friends who stuck to you like a family? I really want to know because I'm losing my mind. I need help. Even after everything that happened between us, at times like this I still wish that we could go back to the you and me who used to talk about how we would help each other get through the tough times. I miss how you lend me your back to cry on because you hate seeing me cry and you hate not being there when I do. So you compromised and used to give me your back instead. At times like this, I really do wish we were still the same old us.
But we are not. I do not know where you are, what you are doing, and who you have become. Do you even have a Facebook account? I'm not sure how far we're grown apart. I am just so consumed by the possibility that, if given a chance, we can rebuild whatever was broken. That chance is a fine thread, yet I hold on to it like I hold on to my dear life.
Right now I am fighting for what I know I deserve and I can only pray my bravery will pay off.
I miss you. To be more specific, I miss the you I remember so vividly in my head. I hope that guy is still there somewhere.
I wish you well.
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Photo taken from this page.
